Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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