How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
