Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
