I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
