She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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