Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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