Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
