YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
