does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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