i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
