You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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