And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
