So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
