I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
