yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
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Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
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I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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