i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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