Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize