There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
