rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
