yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
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I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
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I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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