I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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