Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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