Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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