gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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