Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
