i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
