My friends, they love my intelligence
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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