Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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