we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
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I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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