so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
