Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
