Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
