Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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