piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
My breasts were aching with rage.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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