my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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