All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
