we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
