this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
