Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
