Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS