i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine