Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!