all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
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Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
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He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.