i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
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Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
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His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.