Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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