So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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