wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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