I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
