Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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