I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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