i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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