During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
is wine microwaveable?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
