did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
