why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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