Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
