Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
