I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
