I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
