Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
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I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
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I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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