remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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