Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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